Monday, July 31, 2006

Thank you. =)

You all are so great and so very helpful. Thank you for taking time to comment and advise. I sincerely appreciate the feedback. I don’t like to talk to anyone in my “real” life about any hiccups J and I experience… it just doesn’t feel right to air our laundry to others and I know he wouldn’t appreciate it, but I feel safe putting it out here because you only “know” me and I know you won’t judge J. He’s the finest man I know and I’m afraid the majority (not all, but most) of any problems we have is my fault – or simply imagined. Anyway, I brought up the idea of counseling and he wasn’t really into it. He actually doesn’t understand why I think it would be a good idea – but he encouraged me to see someone if I felt it would help and he said he would read some marriage books with me.

I also might make an appointment with a doctor I saw about 3 years ago during the height of my depression. He’s the nicest guy and was very helpful. I always felt immediately better after an appointment. Although I no longer deal with depression, I suffer tremendously with self-doubt and such a pathetic lack of confidence. It’s really rather disgusting. I’m constantly reading and trying to improve myself, but for some reason I’m struggling to see my worth. It’s ridiculous. Bah. I will overcome this so I can be the person I want to be. I am my own worse enemy and I need to stop before my fears become a self-fulfilled prophecy.

We had a wonderful time on our camping trip and things are going well with us... I just want to enjoy a very fulfilled and happy marriage and I want to do all I can to ensure our love remains strong.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Blogger FUNK

I just don’t have too much to say lately. I’ve been reading blogs, but rarely commenting. I think the hot, hot heat is killing my thought process. Seriously. We (as many of you have as well, I’m sure) had record-breaking heat for the past 12 straight days. 114, 115, 116… BUT it’s supposed to get down to the low 100’s by this weekend so at least relief is in the not too distant future.

Diet is going well. Training is going well. I really need to get to a sports medicine doctor regarding my shins. I’m pretty sure I have tibia stress fractures in both legs and the pain is increasingly worse day by day. I hate to see a “sports medicine” doctor, because I’m not an elite athlete and I hate for them to tell me to “STOP RUNNING.”

We’re going camping this weekend. It’ll be nice to get up into the mountains and hopefully away from this heat.

Hope ya’ll are doing great.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Ate my cake.

EDIT: If Jess reads this, your blog isn't allowing comments to be posted!

I had my first cheat after 20 days and I finally ate some cake. I didn’t want to buy a big cake, since my husband usually prefers the dense, rich chocolate version and I wanted light and fluffy. So I settled on an individual slice of white layer cake with white buttercream frosting from the Vons bakery. Wow. That was one helluva sugar rush. Not a high quality piece of pastry and it was awfully sweet… I felt like tossing my “cookies” after eating the ENTIRE 3”x3” two layer slice, but I believe my craving is now satisfied.

Other than my cake cheat, my diet is still ON. I’m officially carb cycling this week (2 low days, 2 low GI days, 2 higher GI days and then another cheat day) so it should be a very easy week. I saw a big jump downwards on the scale after the first week, but since then nothing. In fact, the scale crept back up. No biggie. I’ve been getting lots of compliments about my physique changes so I choose to concentrate on the good and ignore the evil scale.

Saturday morning’s workout was sprints at the high school track. Running on a track recruits completely different muscles than the treadmill. I felt it way up into my hamstrings the next day. It was really HARD but I really enjoyed it. I sprinted the straights and recovered on the corners.

My husband left early to go fishing and was gone by the time I got home so I rested on the couch for a few minutes. It was a beautiful early morning – all the windows were open and a breeze was circulating throughout the house. Ahhhh. Just as I was getting up to take a shower I heard a muffled thud sound and heard a vehicle out in front of my house. I thought it was the newspaper delivery, but the next thing I know I see a man sprinting through my back yard, yanking open my side gate, jumping into a waiting vehicle and speeding off. I ran outside and my sweet neighbor – who happened to be on his front porch and saw the whole thing – and I tried to figure out what the hell just happened. It was especially difficult because he doesn’t speak English and I only know a tiny bit of Spanish! Anyway, I finally went inside and called my husband and he suggested I call the police in case it was related to a separate incident or crime. The police arrived shortly after I called and said there’s an apartment complex a couple miles away that’s kind of known for it’s crime (grrrreaaat) but that when our gates are completed and functioning, we shouldn’t see any problems spilling over into our area. One of the policewomen spoke Spanish so we were able to piece together that the guy hopped over our back wall (it’s a stone/concrete wall about 8 feet tall) and ran through my backyard to the car waiting outside. We just can’t figure out why in the world that would happen. So strange. Oh, and the guy didn't have on any shoes - just socks. I hope they complete the gates to our gated community quickly.

This morning’s cardio workout was one of the best I’ve had in a long time. I started out doing hills on the treadmill. My gym upgraded our equipment so the treadmills now have a speed interval program and I just couldn’t resist trying it out. So all in all I burned about 610 calories in under an hour. I can feel my metabolism burning up!

Thursday, July 13, 2006

This and That

This strict dieting has helped me realize how lax I had become in my eating. I was still eating relatively clean, but definitely not spot on. When I first started this new diet almost three weeks ago, I had visited someone’s office that always has chocolates on her desk and I almost grabbed one out of habit. I guess I didn’t realize how often I was grabbing a chocolate here and a chocolate there. Going on a strict diet allows me to appreciate the simple things in life - like oatmeal and blueberries. After this test group diet is done, I may consider doing no carb weeks once a month or every couple of months to keep me on the straight and narrow. Food is something I struggle with and I'm always looking for ways to keep me on track and help me appreciate wholesome foods.

My cardio workout was awesome this morning… until the worst cramps I’ve ever had in my life hit. I had to leave and whimpered and moaned all the way home. A few minutes on the couch and a couple of Aleve fixed me up, but I’m disappointed that I had to stop when I was so close to finishing such an awesome workout. Why doesn’t that type of thing happen on days when your work out totally sucks wind?

Let's see if blogger will agree with me today and let me post some photos of The Cuteness...

I just love his long legs

It's hard to capture the essence of his cuteness on film...

... but sometimes: success!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

I Didn’t Cave!

Whew. I made it through the weekend without caving into my craving. I even resisted Claim Jumper’s Motherlode Cake. I won’t post a photo. It’s a six layer chocolate cake – it looked pretty good, but my real craving was for something light and fluffy – a little less decadent than the gooey chocolate cake. Thankfully, my craving for cake is pretty much under control, but I do feel increased hunger pangs. I always do when I have PMS. Grrrr.

The weekends go by way too fast. We enjoyed more time in the pool at our friends’ house on both days and saw the Pirates of the Caribbean on Sunday night. It was such a loooong movie. It was really good, but I was FREEZING and didn’t have a sweater so I couldn’t wait for the movie to end. If you go, be sure to stay till the very end – after the credits have rolled. There’s supposed to be a surprise – unfortunately we left and didn’t see what it was… and didn’t hear about the “surprise” till on our way home while listening to the radio. Did I mention it was really loooong? Bring a sweater.

Things with the diet are going well. I get carbs again so my energy is picking up and Sunday will be my first cheat day in 20 days. I don’t think I’m going to go crazy. I think the philosophy behind the cheat day is to “re-feed” the body and raise leptin levels. (From Wikipedia: Leptin is a 16 kDa protein hormone that plays a key role in regulating energy intake and energy expenditure, including the regulation of appetite and metabolism.) Blah, blah, blah. I’m so difficult with details. Anyway, my cheat day may have specific “rules” – I don’t know yet. I almost hate to have a cheat, but I believe it’s important for leptin levels.

My joints are acting up again, so workouts aren’t completely enjoyable, but I’m getting them in and feeling good and sore. I’ll be picking up a bottle of a triple joint relief formula (containing MSM, Chondrotin, Glucosomine) today. I’ve hesitated buying anything because I don’t want to drop $50 on something I don’t even know will help. Homeownership has turned me into a cheap-o.

Not much else going on. It’s really HOT, but I love the evening temperatures and the accompanying breezes. Summer is the best.

I’m putting up some pictures of Max (aka Mr. Handsome, aka The Cuteness) for your viewing pleasure (and I want the cake as far down the page as possible!). EDIT: OK, blogger isn't cooperating with me. Looks like photos will get posted later.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Caution: Subject matter may not be suitable for all audiences. Viewer discretion is strongly advised.

Uh oh. I have a mean craving. PMS is upon me and I can’t stop thinking about CAKE. Or any sweet dessert. Pie, cake, ice cream sundae, pastries… This normally wouldn’t be too big of a problem. I’d just enjoy a nice piece of cake on Free Day or for a Free Meal. HOWEVER, I don’t get a free day for eight more days. This is going to be tough. I REALLY want cake!!!

I can’t stop thinking about it. Yum. Oh, you know what else would be good??? High tea! Oh, how I’d love to enjoy a beautiful traditional English teatime with those yummy and delicate little sandwiches and scones! Matt, you must give us all the details of a proper high tea!

I WILL NOT CAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, July 06, 2006

The World Needs More Holiday Weekends

I just love holiday weekends. I worked a little on Sunday to help out a colleague, but we were given the day off on Monday, which made it more than worthwhile. I made dinner for a friend on Saturday and he helped us hang a new ceiling fan. Sunday we watched Superman Returns. Monday we went swimming at a friend’s and watched a very interesting movie called The Secret – I found it very interesting as it relates to several books I’ve been reading lately (The Power of Intention, Conversations With God). Tuesday we enjoyed a nap and fireworks in the evening at the country club. Yesterday was a tough day to get through – I was so tired. I'm still tired today in fact. I've been reading blogs, but I'm too tired to comment.

Here's our new ceiling fan. It looks really nice in our living room.

Diet is still ON and going great. I ate sashimi today for the first time ever. I love sushi rolls, but don’t care for raw fish. Unfortunately, sushi rolls definitely aren’t on my diet, but what could be healthier than fresh tuna, salmon and snapper? I decided to change my dislike of all things raw. I can’t believe I choked it down. I really don’t get what the big deal is about sashimi. Why does everyone get so excited over it? Sure the tuna is a beautiful color, but it’s just raw???!!! I'm kind of determined to make myself love it. I'll let you know how that turns out. So far, it's not looking too good.